It is hotter than HELL outside right now. I’m in Iowa. If you’ve ever been in Iowa you will know there is no where, and I do mean no where to seek solace from the sun. Fine. I might be guilty of being slightly melodramatic, I’ll give that to you. But in my own defense the temperature gauge above the Super Walmart (yet another fabulous feature of Iowa) did say 106 degrees when I went past this morning at TEN THIRTY IN THE MORNING. Yes, I’m a whiner. So.
So, there I am driving my mini-van whip down the interstate exit and I look up and there is the temperature in all it’s blazing glory right next to it’s mother ship the Sun and I almost wrecked the my hot ride right there gawking at the thing.
Who signed up for this anyway? Honestly.
So, I get the mini whip back on track and I know I have to make a decision. This is like the sixth day in a row of these temperatures and I’m pretty sure this is the hottest one yet. I need to decide if I’m going to continue whining about it or just embrace this craziness. I’m going to embrace it. So, I come home grab my swim suit. Yes, it is the standard dyke swimwear of a pair of basketball shorts, a sports bra, and “wife-beater” (what IS the real name for those little shirts, anyway?). I head to the backyard where the pool is and lo and behold it is lovely hue of sea green. Well, I could take myself back to the lovely Super Walmart and buy a butt-load of chemicals or I can do what I’ve been needing to do for a while drain it up, clean it up, fill it up and start over.
I opt for draining. I sit on the top of the inflatable ring of this gargantuan 18 foot wide, four foot deep blow up baby pool and the water starts rushing out, I go ass over tin cup into the mud and the neighbors chain link fence, the dog comes up the ladder jumps into the pool, rides the wave over the edge, lands on me and my muddy splendor but damnit we’re cooled off, you know! We get up, hose ourselves off, and look into the haze of sunshine and hope no one saw that. Two hours later the pool is filling again with crystal blue water. I floated my troubles away in five inches of water while it began filling and fell asleep under the mother ship and woke with about 10 inches of water beneath me and a wicked sunburn but I feel accomplished.